Bitches First!

You guys know how sometimes a spontaneous well-timed satire can turn out to be the funniest thing that ever tickled you. Well, given my dirty mind, I have had many of these incidents! I'm sure you guys have had your share of those moments too. I'm gonna share one such incident that happened with me when I was in grad school.


To start with, we were a good bunch of friends then. There was a girl named Anjali who was very well known in the college for her straight forward, utterly frank opinions. There was nothing she could hide. Whatever hit her mind, hit us. If anything went out of her like, she never hesitated to say "it sucks!". Shying away from things was not her way. I loved her frank opinions. But it wasn't gonna be the same with everyone.


A friend of mine named Gaurav, hated her that. He thought she was "too rude" sometimes. He made condescending comments about her whenever she was absent. Though he he din't literally mean any of them, he just wanted to show his hatred towards her.


One day, all of us planned to go for a movie. Me and Gaurav were allotted the task of getting the theater tickets. So we went early and brought the tickets. Rest of them were to come in another five minutes. We stood at the entry gate waiting for them. Soon everybody came and Anjali was leading the pack. When they reached us, Gaurav smiled, bent a little in respect, put his hands forward as if ushering her in, and blurted out "Bitches first!"

Next scene : Anjali was red with anger. Others were literally rolling on the floor, laughing. And Gaurav, who had blurted it out thinking she wouldn't listen, was green in embarrassment and a little bit of fear. I was complete 'ha ha ha ha ha'! I  have got no idea if the movie was good that day, but i was laughing continuously for 3 hours in the theater. ha ha ha ha ha!

MS Dhoni and the Orient PSPO Commercial

You have noticed the MS Dhoni's Orient PSPO ceiling fan commercial,  haven't you? Okay now, come on! please don't say no! I bet, almost a small million of the hundred thousand trillion Indians would have seen it. Lol. Ha ha ha ha ha! Now, being a huge Dhoni fan, I must not say that it is the dumbest commercial ever, but it really sucks. It sucks more than a vacuum cleaner, in fact! And by chance, if any of you lazy, dull, uninteresting and boring mankind haven't noticed the advertisement yet, let me explain to you what it's all about.

The ad shows a family of four sitting under a fully rotating ceiling fan (with no work at all to do), sweating badly, cursing the heat and gasping for air. The ceiling fan is rarely of use for them as it fails to provide them with sufficient air (Indian summer. Oh God, save us!) Suddenly, out of nowhere, Dhoni appears like a shaktimaan (obviously rotating faster than the fan above) and advices them to use the Orient PSPO ceiling fans. Completely awed by the Godly figure that entered their house like a tornado out of nowhere, they smile, suddenly looking as fresh as a daisy; the sweat disappearing. (It is left on us to understand that they've already installed the Orient PSPO fans) Dhoni smiles, tears a piece of papaer (depicting, that they no longer have to pay big power bills!) and suddenly he's off. So that's basically the whole ad.

Now, tell me Mr. Dhoni, if you could really spin like the shaktimaan, why the hell would you endorse a bloody ceiling fan? Why don't you hang yourself toes-up, heads-down on the ceiling and give them some air? Cos you obviously were faster than the fan when you gave that 'divine' entry in the ad. And if in any case, you need any tips on how to spin faster, then the grand old shaktimaan is always there. You soon will be worshiped like your buddy mate.

One more damn interesting thing is that if you just wanted to show us that these fans could reduce the cost, then why the hell would you tear the electricity bill into pieces and act like you don't even have to pay once you buy these freaking fans? Cos, let me tell you, your buddy shaktimaan,doesn't need any energy to run on. He just needs to transform into a lame, funny, bunny-toothed nerd to breathe and he's back to normal. He saves lot of power, mind you! So most probably, tearing off the bill would most probably suit if you endorse shaktimaan. Lol. Ha ha ha ha ha!

P.S. - SORRY SHAKTIMAAN!

Nothing Else To Laugh!

let me introduce myself first. You can rarely ever miss a person who does nothing else than laugh laugh laugh. Well, i'm one of those or should i just say i am the only one who does that. whatever it may be, one thing is for sure, i can find hilarious jokes and burst into laughter from nowhere. ha ha ha ha!

yes, you were just the lucky one to hear my laugh (didn't i say 'without purpose'?). here, i wanna laugh again, but let me be a lil' lenient to you in the beginning, later anyhow you're gonna get addicted to the awesomeness of my laughter. ha ha ha ha! and for people who don't care enough to laugh, i'm gonna make them roll on the bed of laughter covered with the sheets of hilariousness and pillows of humor, just without purpose.

So, stick to your seats, hold your stomachs and fasten your seat belts when you read my posts coz i'm taking you to a roller-coaster ride in the world of laughter where people never even dreamed they could laugh off. a world of senseless, worthless, dumb, weird and stupid yet funny comedy that you've never experienced before. May your neighbours punch you in the face for laughing out loud! ha ha ha ha!